Carriage Hats

A flash poetry writing post composed for March, inspired by Paul Gustave Fischer’s painting Copenhagen Tram; above.

Carriage Hats

Puff, puff on his fat cigar,
This time, he’s gone too far.

“How embarrassing, I should jump,
I’m an old fool, a silly chump.”

50 dollars! Oh, what a mistake,
Surely one any bloke could make.

Stylish, pretty, such a looker,
No reason to think Red Hat a hooker.

“Serves him right, he needed a whack,
My heavy handbag packs quite a thwack.”

One in the eye, dollars drop to the floor,
Next stop, both’ll flutter out the door.

Between the two the inspector stands,
He pushed them apart with his bare hands.

“Sir, Miss, stop at once, if you please,
Wait here, I’ve called the railway police.”

He turns, and out the corner of his eye,
A self-erecting newspaper he did spy.

Spectacled man is a private detective,
Owner of false arm that goes undetected.

“Clever, iPad hidden in daily broadsheet,
No fingers seen tapping, and comfy seat.”

His hand from beneath folds of raincoat,
Records evidence in pictures and in note.

False arm, nearest Red Hat, has finger missing,
Broke off following Cigar’s attempted kissing.

“A jolly good job nobody cared to look,
Uploaded video to YouTube and Facebook.”

That’s why the detective smiles a grin,
Live fracas upload means views for him!

For a client, the private eye is on a mission,
Two chatting ladies opposite are under suspicion.

“So, Pearls gives flowers to Blue Piping hat,
A lesbian affair you can be sure of that.”

Backed up with presence of a gardening glove,
Detective believes two are certainly in love.

“Trilbys, Panamas, other Fine Hats” take a look,
Cover story for the Detective, author of a book.

“Cigar’s Norwegian roebuck headwear is of interest,
Not the colour of Red Hat’s hat I must confess.”

Private dick doesn’t realise Red Hat is a gardener,
With Pearls, Blue Stripes there’s a ménage à trois.

Spectacles’s signed fiction, Pearls’ hubby’s present,
But hiding a tracker inside is not time well spent.

“Little does he know he’s looking at the wrong lover,
I’ll soon sort his dilemma and pull out my revolver.”

Red Hat wants to shoot Spectacles, as he stole her MS,
“The Lady Milliner’s Guide to Gentleman’s Headdress”.

361 Words.

Image: Paul Gustave Fischer (1860-1934) Copenhagen Tram

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